tough love

Hating your brother is easy.  It doesn’t require malicious feelings, hurtful words, or overt, evil intent.  No, there are much simpler and more subtle ways of expressing hate than by actively seeking another’s detriment.  The best way to hate your brother, or anyone for that matter, is to love yourself, something or someone else, and/or your own life more than him.

“He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me.  And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.  And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.  He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.” -Jesus

“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.  And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.” – also Jesus

Hating is easy.  All you have to do is love something else more.

If we say that we have fellowship with Him, and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.  But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. 1 John 1:6-7

He who says he is in the light, and hates his brother, is in darkness until now. 1 John 2:9

Its easy to believe that we are in the light when we are really in the darkness.  This is especially true when we have been deceived into believing that we have seen and are in the light when the truth of the matter is that neither conjecture is true.  After having been in the darkness for so long, even if we would see the light, unless someone who knew what it was said to us, “This is the Light,” we wouldn’t be able to identify it as light.

And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. John 1:5

But then comes the issue of trust.  If we have never seen the light for ourselves and someone says, “this is the light,” how can we trust that they know what the light is?  Fortunately, John prescribes a simple test to determine whether or not someone is in the light, the brotherly love test.

He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him.  But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. 1 John 2:10-11

Loving your brother is tough.  Surely anyone who can do such a tough thing can be trusted.  Hating your brother on the other hand, that’s easy; anyone can do that.  Especially since all you have to do to hate your brother is fail to provide for his needs simply because you have “better” uses in mind for what could be for his benefit.

By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.  And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.  But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him? 1 John 3:16-17

If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 1 John 4:20

(also see Matthew 25:31-46)

In their day, the Jews were very good at not “directly” violating the commandments of God.  They simply added on little formalities to the revealed word of God, formalities to ensure that they didn’t transgress God’s command.  Their thought process went something like, “God said, ‘Don’t use My Name in vain.’  If we don’t use it at all, surely we can’t use it in vain…”  Unfortunately, this practice quickly got out of hand, as it always does (even as far back as with Eve in the garden – cf. Genesis 2:16-17 and 3:3), and before they knew it, they were transgressing the law of God without even realizing it!  They were in the dark and didn’t even know it!

He answered and said to them, “Why do you also transgress the commandment of God because of your tradition?  For God commanded, saying,  ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and,  ‘He who curses father or mother, let him be put to death.’  But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, “Whatever profit you might have received from me is a gift to God”—  then he need not honor his father or mother.’ Thus you have made the commandment of God of no effect by your tradition.  Hypocrites! Well did Isaiah prophesy about you, saying:
‘ These people draw near to Me with their mouth,
And honor Me with their lips,
But their heart is far from Me.
And in vain they worship Me,
Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’” Matthew 15:3-9

The latter condition of these traditionalists was worse than if they would have just flat out sinned, because without knowledge of sin there is no repentance.  As Jesus might put it, you won’t go to the doctor if you don’t think you’re sick.

Today’s church leaders are in much the same condition as the religious leaders of Jesus’ day.  The love of so many has grown so cold that deceitful men have developed and maintain an elaborate system to alleviate the guilt of hate and even mask it so as to put it at the fringes of recognition.  Creating such a system really isn’t that difficult, but for its effective implementation, it must be done ever so subtly (a specialty of you-know-who).
The first thing to do to effectively cultivate brotherly hate is to emphasize and overemphasize self-love.  As previously mentioned, to hate one thing, one must simply love something else more.  Replace concern for others with concern for self.  Mob mentality accomplishes this nicely.  Just mix in a bunch of people whose natural disposition is to outwardly express self-love.  Mix wheat with tares and then, when in Rome…
So far so good, but there’s one problem…self-lovers don’t willingly join groups that preach death to self.  A clever deceiver at this point would then cut to the heart of the matter and alter the group’s message so as to make it more inviting to the tares; de-emphasize notions of death to self for communal gain and instead focus on eternal gain for self and individual, personal salvation.  By changing the gospel of the kingdom to the gospel of personal salvation for the individual soul, the focus shifts from “one for all” to “all for me”.  By making love of self the new foundation instead of Christ and His Kingdom, an eternal self-preservation mentality becomes the norm and the ground becomes fertile for brotherly hate to flourish.  But there is still the guilt problem.
It is hard for most to pass by acquaintance who has just been mugged and dumped by the side of the road, having been badly beaten and left to die.  It’s a little easier to ignore a picture of some starving kid in Africa, but for many there still remains a little bit of that residual guilt for not putting $10 into the can to feed hungry kids half a world away.  When it comes to helping others, ignorance is bliss, ignorance and distance is better, but proximity to a situation tends to necessitate action.    To hear about a family of 6 go without food is one thing, but to be present with them at dinner time with no food on a regular basis is another.  It is difficult to love a brother with whom a minimal amount of time is spent in a sanctified place, far removed from the course of everyday life.  To cultivate brotherly hate, deceived men have done just that.  They have created sanctified times and places to meet, far from where life is lived; places where it’s okay to mix and mingle, but not become too involved.
When Jesus was building his assembly throughout the book of Acts, He intentionally structured it to take place in homes, public squares and unspecialized meeting spaces at regular intervals in small groups with a dinner table because He, in His infinite wisdom, knew that it was in the course of everyday living that His disciples would best be able to fulfill His command to love one another and be living sacrifices.  I’m not saying that this pattern is foolproof as the Corinthians earned a sharp rebuke from Paul for continuing to be disorderly and self-seeking, but I have yet to witness even a single one Roman Catholic or pseudo-Roman-Catholic wannabe Lutheran or Methodist group even come close to mimicking the brotherly loving, Godly style of living modeled by many of the New Testament assemblies.
Religious men today are guilty of the same sin as the religious men of Jesus’ day.  They have made the commandment of God, to love one another, of no effect by their tradition, teaching as doctrines the commandments and church-planting tactics of men.  They have said, “The Lord has said…” when He has not said at all.  Assuredly the Lord, upon His return, will repay them their deeds upon their heads.  But while it is still Today, let all who hear this word turn and not harden their hearts as have so many fallen men of days past.

Do not conform to the pattern of this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, before it is too late.